When Faith Feels Like Free Fall
8/3/26
In recent days, I have been thinking deeply about some dear friends who are facing very serious, life-threatening illnesses.
Watching people you care about walk through such uncertainty makes you reflect on life in a very different way. It forces you to ask difficult questions about faith, fear, and what it truly means to trust God.
It also reminded me of something very personal from my own health crisis, when I still trying to recover from my bilateral cerebellar stroke.
During that time, when everything felt uncertain and frightening, I had a dream. In that dream, I felt very clearly that God spoke to me. He said just two simple words:
“Trust Me.”
At that precise moment, I then realised I had not fully surrendered to God but was still holding on to worldly wisdoms to heal me.
My body was weak, my future uncertain, and like everyone else, I was hoping that the doctors would make me well.
But those two words stayed with me.
Looking back now, I realise that trusting God can sometimes feel like stepping into a free fall. It means letting go when we cannot see the outcome, believing that God will place a safety net beneath us even when we cannot see it coming.
We often say we trust God’s will for our lives.
We say we are ready to accept whatever comes.
But when serious illness strikes — a stroke, cancer, or heart attack — we discover something very honest about ourselves.
We are not ready to die.
Not yet.
I can still remember the few words I shouted to medical staff attending to me in the emergency room and they were: “Do what you need to save me. I don’t want to die.”
And that is the truth most of us do not admit.
So we cling to doctors, medicine, and every possible treatment. We search for answers and solutions because we desperately want life to continue.
And that is human.
God has given us medical knowledge and compassionate professionals who care for the sick. For that we should always be grateful.
But in the quiet moments, another truth slowly becomes clear.
Ultimately, our lives are not held in the hands of doctors.
They are held in the hands of God.
He is the giver of life.
He is the one who decides when our time is complete.
And sometimes, in His mercy, He gives life back to us.
That is what happened to me.
Against all expectations, I recovered fully. When I look back now, I know those words from that dream were not random.
They were a call to surrender.
To let go of fear.
To trust God even when I could not see the outcome.
But trusting God also means something we often forget.
We must not put God in a box.
We cannot pray only for the outcome we expect and believe that God must do it exactly the way we want.
True faith is different.
We bring our fears, our hopes, and our desires before Him.
We make our supplications known.
We tell Him honestly that we do not want to die, that we long for healing, that we hope for more time.
But then we surrender.
We pray according to the will of God and allow His wisdom to lead us.
And in that surrender, we find peace.
Because whatever road we are walking — whether toward healing, restoration, or something we do not yet understand — we can trust that it is the path God is leading us on.
And His path is always the right one.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
and He will make your paths straight.”
— Proverbs 3:5–6
Additionally, the full passage of Epistle to the Philippians 4:6–7 (NIV) is a good reminder too:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
May these words and reflections be food for the souls who need to hear them too.